Foster carer stories

My name is William, or Viliame in Tongan.
I live in Menindee.

I’m Anita Tena, vocal coach, Stagecoach, and most importantly, I’m a foster carer.
Right now, I’m representing Tina.

I used to do a lot of the club circuit and the cruise ships.
I got this one with Anthony. I’ve had him since he was 11 and he’s 19 now, and I’m still looking after him.

I remember the first time Anthony saw me while I was still caring for him. I could see him peeking out, and then he questioned me, and it was just so funny. Performing is nothing to Anthony. He just wants someone in his corner.

I am a full-time foster carer. It was never my reading, it was never in the cards. I had been in Sydney, just blessed with a really good singing career. Then years later, I was called back to Menindee.

I decided to spend time with my cousin, who looks after kids, and I worked for him. My job was to care for them until they found a permanent placement. It took three years to find a placement for him. I did, but he said no. He picked me. He picked me.

I’m Polynesian, I’m Tongan. I come from a very large family. I knew my family would support me. I still remember bringing Anthony to see the family for the first time. The family put on a big feast. One of my brothers turned around and said, “Sit there, Anthony. Welcome to the family.” And he won’t be any different than everybody else.

His face just lit up. They support him more than they support me. Anthony’s needs are a little bit more complex than the average teenager, and they help guide him, and at the same time listen to what he’s got to say.

It’s a beautiful bond. He can come to Sydney. He gets on the train on his own. That’s a big thing for a country boy. The fact that he can make his own decisions.

What they really need is unconditional love. I am very proud of him, very proud to be a part of his life. He needed me, but he had no idea that I needed him more.

It’s amazing.

Bec: I really love shaping teenagers, and seeing the changes that you can make. 

It's so rewarding to see the happiness on their face when they have achieved something 

 that they maybe thought that they would never be able to do. 

Whether it's a 15-year-old, a 16-year-old, an 18-year-old, it's about breaking that cycle and pulling children out of the system so they're not getting caught in this spiral. 

I used to work as a lawyer, for parents trying to get their children out of the system, and that opened my eyes to fostering and what families go through. 

I was like, “Oh, that's something that we could do.”  We have the room. We definitely have the love. So, we jumped in. 

Dan: We don't want to just provide the child a home, we want to provide them a family. 

People think that you're essentially boarding the child, you’re not. 

Sooner rather than later they’re going to feel like they’re part of your family. 

Bec: I moved out of home when I was 16 and I ended up pregnant and having a baby and becoming a single mother. 

I did leave a domestic violence relationship after I ended up in hospital. 

Because that happened in front of my 2-year-old, I did actually have DCJ call. 

You can see how people can get themselves into situations and they really needed help 

getting out of it. 

I really wanted to help people that had found themselves in situations and make a difference. 

Every skill that you can give a child is going to make a huge difference in their life. 

We have 3 biological kids and then foster on top, so sometimes we've had up to 6 kids in this house at a time, and it is crazy, but I love the sound of laughter. 

Dan: It's giving us a deeper appreciation about what's important in life. 

You don’t spend every day thinking about the fact that you're changing lives. 

Bec: It is rewarding to know that a family are now back together, and you've actually played quite a big role in that. 

Dan: One thing I hear a lot from people that are playing with the idea of becoming a foster carer is, “I don't think I could let the child go. It would be too difficult.” 

My answer to them always is that they need someone that is going to form an attachment and provide them that love, so you're probably actually the perfect person for it. 

Bec: I'm wise enough to know there's a lot of children in care and I can't help them all. 

If you can just make a difference to one person, that's all you need. You could be the difference for one child. 

Jenny: When I was in India once, someone read my palm and said, “You're going to be looking after lots of children.” 

And there you go, he was right (laughs). 

I've been a foster carer for 24 years, and I've had approximately 40 children. 

 And I would say nearly half of those children probably had a disability. 

My first child came when she was only 4. She was a little girl with severe cerebral palsy. 

 I offered to take her, and I fell in love with her. 

Even as a baby, I knew she was bright. And I saw there was something there.  

Marusha: The one thing I wish everyone knew about disability is that we can achieve great things. 

They just need the right support, which I got from my mum. 

Jenny: I fought for her. I put her in school where sometimes they didn’t see the potential, but I did. 

Marusha: She never gave up. And I am grateful for that. 

Jenny: Seeing a child that wasn't able to achieve, achieve, it's really special 

Marusha: We can do everything we can put our minds to. 

Jenny: And now look at her. She's at university, getting high distinctions. 

She's advocating for other students at school with disabilities and changing the education system. 

Marusha: Not to toot my own horn, but my proudest achievement is when I went to the United Nations. 

Jenny: A lot of people baulk at the idea of taking a child with special needs. 

I don't lie about it, it is hard. But it's also joyful. 

Taking a child with a disability, you can do it. 

You'll be helped and you'll be supported, so think about it. 

Please think about it, yes. 

Colleen, foster carer: I just think it was my calling. I've just always loved helping people.  

To become a foster carer was always in the back of my head, then a friend of mine became a foster carer.  

She encouraged me and I took that leap forward and started the process.  

I wish I had done it a long time ago. The calling was now. 

Sara, foster carer: She's done amazing things with the children that she's had in her care. 

Colleen: Knowing they're safe is one big factor, but seeing the smiles on their face is what makes me smile.  

To see them grow and to have that confidence is a major boost.  

I think it's very important to keep siblings together. Because they've been through the same thing, they've got each other's back.  

There's things that they might not be able to say to me, but they have that special bond.  

Having these kids, it's kept me very young. It's always busy. We dance to a lot of music. That's everyday in this house.  

When the girls leave for school I always get the love hearts. They're content, they're happy. 

Sara: Colleen's done an amazing job foster caring, and we need more people like her. The more carers that we can get, the more these children have hope in their future. 

Colleen: Don't sit on the fence. Take this step, because you won't regret it. You will not regret it.