Looking after yourself as a carer

What is burnout?

Caring for others takes energy. If you don’t look after yourself, stress can build and lead to burnout — a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion usually caused by ongoing stress over a long period of time.

It can build up slowly. You may not notice it at first.

Burnout can make you feel:

• drained and tired most of the time
• unmotivated
• overwhelmed
• hopeless or resentful
• like you have nothing left to give

Recognising the early signs can help you take action before things become more serious.

Signs of burnout

Signs vary from person to person. Common signs include:

• feeling exhausted most days
• getting sick more often
• trouble sleeping
• forgetfulness
• self-doubt
• withdrawing from friends or family
• feeling less satisfaction in caring
• becoming more irritable
• using food, alcohol or other substances to cope

If several of these feel familiar, it may be time to pause and seek support.

Self-care: small steps that make a difference

Self-care does not have to be complicated. Small, regular actions can help you manage stress and protect your wellbeing.

You might try:

• eating regular, healthy meals
• getting enough sleep
• moving your body, even with a short daily walk
• slowing down and doing something you enjoy
• starting or ending the day with a simple routine, such as stretching, reading or quiet time
• setting boundaries and saying “no” when you need to
• noticing small positive moments with the child or young person in your care
• connecting with other carers who understand your experience
• asking for help from friends, family or your caseworker
• talking to your caseworker about respite, home help or other supports
• planning breaks or holidays so everyone can reset

Taking time for yourself helps you stay steady and present.

“Take time for yourself, because if you burn out, it’s not going to help. 
Sometimes you need to back off. 
Sometimes you need to go for a walk and have some thinking time.”

Marie, carer

Quick self-care checklist

Use this as a simple daily reminder:

• Eat regularly and choose healthy foods
• Move your body – even a short walk counts
• Get enough sleep and rest breaks
• Take time to do something you enjoy
• Practice a morning or evening ritual (stretching, meditation, reading)
• Notice and celebrate small wins with the child in your care
• Connect with another carer, friend, or family member
• Say “no” when your schedule feels too full

Tip: Even 10–15 minutes of focused self-care each day can make a difference.

Checking in with your own children

Caring for another child can affect your own children, especially at the beginning of a placement.

They may:

• feel they are getting less attention
• worry that the child in care is treated differently
• struggle with sharing space or belongings
• feel unsure about changes in the home

These feelings are common and do not mean something is wrong.

Talking openly helps. Before, during and after a placement, ask your children how they are feeling. Listen without judgement. Explain why you care and the important role they play in supporting another child.

If you notice ongoing stress or conflict, speak with your caseworker. Together, you can look at strategies or extra support.

Many children of carers later say they learned empathy, patience and resilience from the experience.

"I wasn’t expecting how difficult it would be for my son. I thought he would embrace it more, like we did, but he found it very challenging. It’s all settled now. I mean they fight with each other, but they’re best friends! "

 

Clodagh, carer, Miranda

Support for you from family and kin

Support can come from many places.

If you are caring for an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander child or young person and feel at risk of burnout, talk to your caseworker about whether the child could spend time with kin while you take a short break.

If it is in the child’s best interests, this can:

• strengthen cultural and family connections
• give you time to rest and recharge
• support shared caring responsibilities

When to seek extra help

If you feel persistently overwhelmed, low, or unable to cope - or notice several of these signs over time -its time to reach out for support:

• Feeling drained, exhausted, or hopeless most of the time
• Losing interest or satisfaction in caring
• Trouble sleeping or frequent illness
• Forgetfulness or difficulty concentrating
• Becoming more irritable or short-tempered
• Withdrawing from friends or family
• Using food, alcohol, or other substances to cope

What to do: 

• talk to your caseworker
• talk to your GP
• reach out to trusted family or friends

If your caseworker isn’t able to provide the support you need, your peak body can provide free independent support:

• Carers for Kids NSW – 1300 782 975
• AbSec – 1800 888 698

Asking for help is a strength, not a failure.

Short respite planning guide

Respite helps you rest while ensuring the child continues to have safe, stable care.

Steps to plan respite:

1. Check your options: Talk with your caseworker about available respite, home help, or short breaks with kin.
2. Schedule in advance: Plan for times when you most need a break — short daily breaks, overnight, or longer holidays.
3. Prepare the child: Explain where they will be, who will care for them, and what routines will stay the same.
4. Share information: Provide the respite carer with routines, likes/dislikes, medical needs, and any important updates.
5. Stay connected: Keep communication open, but give yourself space to recharge.
6. Reflect afterwards: Consider what worked well and what could be improved for next time.

Tip: Respite is not just for emergencies — it’s a normal, healthy part of being a carer.

You matter too

Children and young people benefit most when their carers feel supported and steady.

Looking after yourself supports the whole household.

You are doing important work. Make space for your own wellbeing as part of that work.