Multicultural mental health shared stories

"Well it was not an easy recovery it came slowly, slowly. I don’t know if this was good or bad but somehow I knew it would be all right in the end, but it needed time."

My Culture

I came from Serbia to Australia 38 years ago in 1969. We came as a family group, my husband, my two sons and myself. We lived all together.

Adapting to Australia

I adapted to live with two cultures very well. I don’t think Australians understood much about my Serbian cultural background at the time. Some Australians are more tolerant. We explained our cultural background to some of my Australian friends and I did not have any problems. I was pregnant; I had a baby and was busy looking after my baby.

At the beginning - Not knowing what was wrong

Our family members were supportive but we were not very aware about mental illness. I didn’t know what was wrong at first. We did not talk about these issues. I did not know how to sit down and just relax, I couldn’t even sit down and watch TV, and do anything else, and it was really hard for me. I had fear and anxiety. I had depression, I always cried, and had no energy, I could not do anything. I even found it hard to clean the house. I couldn’t do anything.

At this time I was working in a big biscuit factory, which I enjoyed. At the biscuit factory I did all sorts of things. I pushed myself to do all sorts of things. I worked in the biscuit factory for 28 years. My children were at school. At that time my husband didn’t work, he stayed at home to look after our children. Because I was an experienced worker and I liked to work. I wanted to have money. I needed the steady income to support my family. Another thing was that I found my work had given me a sense of belonging. I liked that enjoyment. At the beginning of my career, I was well; only later I got sick. But my boss was quite supportive; he let me take one year on sick leave.

After I took one-year sick leave I could not concentrate, and didn’t feel I was getting better; I had to stop working. I felt I had to finish my career and so I resigned from my job. Luckily I was financially all right. I had sickness benefits and the pension and I did have some savings. I was given access to my super funds as well. It did not affect me very much. I was sick, my health was more important, the job I did not care about so much.

Effects of the illness on my family

My family and my son’s mother-in-law were all worried about me. My son got married in 1998 and in that year another son went to Wagga Wagga to teach. Four days after my son’s wedding, I got Bell’s Palsy (this is a condition in which you have paralysis on one side of your face) when my son was on honeymoon in Fiji. The doctor gave medication. I was right for two years. But I was getting sick, I was quite anxious, and had fears. They were all supportive, but they did not know what to do.

Initially they did not think that my illness was that bad, they thought that I was exaggerating my symptoms. They used to ask me why was I sitting at home, why didn’t I go out. I told them how I felt. My son’s mother-in-law was supportive, she kept looking for ways to help me. She tried the hospital and other places and eventually a nurse referred her to the Women’s Health Centre when they got to know each other. My son’s mother-in-law is the same age as me. She did not have much knowledge about mental illness, but she is very supportive and very open.

Getting help

It was because of this referral that a women’s health nurse came to visit me and talked with me. Her name is Nalie. She was a great help. She was very gentle. She started checking my blood pressure, my sugar levels; I was very skinny, because I could not eat. She seemed to understand me. I also went to see my GP. My GP referred me to see a psychiatrist and then my son’s mother-in-law took me to see him. The psychiatrist prescribed me many medications.

I think my GP also helped me more so than the psychiatrist. I had faith in my GP because I have been with him for a long time. The GP prescribed medication that I feel did work for me, because slowly, slowly I’m getting better. As I said, Nalie the nurse from the Women’s Health Centre; she encouraged me to go to the groups run at Fairfield Rehab. Service. Here I met other people with disabilities, got to study a computer course, and went out on outings with other people.

My family went through hell too, but they really helped me. My son’s mother- in-law helped me greatly. She is Greek and she is really proud of me. I did all sorts of tests, head scans, such as a CAT scan but the doctors did not find anything physically wrong. Actually I knew I had fear and anxiety, it was depression.

Professional supports

Everything that I heard from the nurse, her visiting me and going along to rehab, these sorts of things I think probably helped me the most. My GP was also a very great help. He is very understanding because he deals with women a lot. He also spoke Serbian, and he could explain things to me. I knew him for a long time, even though he is a GP I think he probably understood me better than my psychiatrist. I never tried traditional things like herbs, I just took medication.

My family were all very worried, as you can imagine. They went through hell, like I did. They tried a lot to help me and supported me in many different ways. They took me to the doctors, to the hospital, took me shopping, even cooked meals for me. I was drinking some alcohol but I only drank a little, but I gave this up. They were telling me to go out not just sit there by myself. But, to tell you the truth, I never got any help from my own community, as the stigma was there. I did not go out because I was not well. It was not because of the stigma. At that time I was not thinking of these things at all. Mainly, because I was not well.

I didn’t like to see my family worry about me, so distressed about me. That was very important to me, so I started to go to the groups. My doctors, my nurse, my OT and attending rehab activities and TAFE courses all helped me with things I could use to get better.

How I started to tell that I am better

I went out with rehab groups and enjoyed going on all the outings, as I had not been going out much in my life. Then when I heard about other people’s problems, this helped me as well. Being in the WRAP program, which was run by the health services also was good. At that time I was getting better, the WRAP course showed me there were other people like me. It made me feel safe to talk about my illness. It gave me the ideas to seek help if I get sick again, and the ways of how to prevent relapse. The course also gave me something to do in a routine life.

The OT at rehab then introduced me to a TAFE computer course. I enjoyed participating in this so I also attended some other computer courses. The volunteering work was something I also enjoyed. I did volunteer work at a local girls high school. I helped the librarians to put the books back on the shelves or printed the labels for books. It made me feel useful and helpful. They really appreciated my work.

I had a friend; I went out with her too. I had been in hospital and seen the psychiatrist, but they did not help me very much. When my husband died, I admitted myself to the psychiatric hospital. The hospital was too boring. There was nothing to do, just smoke every hour. I stayed there for about two weeks. It was not helpful.

The hardest things

My family gave me strength; I don’t want to see them worried and miserable. Well it was not an easy recovery; it came slowly, slowly. I don’t know if this was good or bad but somehow I knew it would be all right in the end, but it needed time. I was initially negative but as I was getting better I knew I needed to be more positive. When I started to feel different, to be feeling a little more positive I started to do all the things at the rehab program. It was not a hard thing, as I was already showing the signs of recovery. Not everybody has friends, it is good to be together with other people and to be able to share things, and this was good for me.

The journey

You know, I feel I was fortunate, as I didn’t really have any problems with the people I knew. It was not difficult when I wanted to explain and talk about my condition. Losing my ability to work didn’t worry me much as I was still able to be independent, as I had savings and was financially okay. I also did not worry very much about losing connections as my relatives, my family, other rehab groups that I was part of were very supportive.

Previously so many politicians hid their problems, but now it is getting better that even they are talking about depression and people know such problems can now be treated. I am feeling very positive and happy about telling my own story as this may help others and other people’s families to know about nurses like my Nalie and how they can help you with getting you into rehab. Rehab is a chance or possibility for people to think positively, not negatively. I am happy to tell my own story as to start with I too never dreamt that I would become this well.

A piece of advice to others

Take your recovery slowly step by step. Be positive, try to do things you like, that make you feel good, don’t worry about what other people say or other people think. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about your condition. Join the rehab groups with people who have similar problems. You are treated as a person, for who you are, after 38 years in Australia I feel good. If my story can help others it will make me feel very good.

"Sometimes I did not know how to differentiate the real and unreal things; feeling down and lower than others or not equal to everyone. As a result I often isolated myself and made my situation worse."

My cultural background

I grew up in Thailand in a big family with five sisters and four brothers. I am the youngest one in the family. We lived in Buriram, my hometown, it is close to Cambodia. My mother passed away when I was ten and my father died because of his diabetic illness and liver disease when I was 15. At that time of my birth, my mother was 47 years old and she was taking a lot of alcohol as medication believing that would make the baby and herself to be healthier. Until now, I am still not sure if this had affected my health in an ongoing way.

I worked as a librarian in Bangkok at the Chulabhorn Research Institute Library.

I arrived in Australia on a visitor visa in September 2000 during the Olympic Games in Sydney. After a few months, I met my husband at the club, and he is an Australian. We got married about six months after we met and now I have a permanent visa.

In Australia I worked at a few places as a kitchen hand in Thai restaurants and some other hostels. Now I have to take care for my husband, who has an early Alzheimer problem, so I live on a carer benefit from Centrelink.

At the beginning

My illness started in 1988, when I was about 30 years old when I was studying for a master’s degree at the Chulalongkorn University.

I learnt that I had problems. I avoided eye contact when talking to people, and I lost of my mind, I could not concentrate enough when doing things. I used to go to a lot of temples in Thailand, I remember one day while at the temple I lost control of reality and I thought I was a Buddha. At this time I believed I was better than anyone, I did not want to talk to anyone, and started to do strange things which upset my family.

Dealing with it

After this incident, my family sent me to the mental hospital in Nakorn Ratchasrima. I stayed there for a week and they gave me the injection to calm me down and make me to sleep. The staff in the hospital also tied my hands so I could not harm myself and to prevent me to run away from the hospital. I was told I had chronic schizophrenia.

When I returned to Bangkok to continue my masters degree, I saw the psychiatrist at the Chulalongkorn hospital, the biggest and oldest hospital in Bangkok. I was given a medication which was very strong and I had side effects from this. My hands would shake, and my eyes could not see properly. At this time, I could not do anything so I only stayed at home and as a consequence, I lost my job. Then the psychiatrist tried to reduce the amount of the medication until I had the right amount. It took me about six months to adjust to the medication.

At first, I thought that I could not finish my study because of the mental illness. However, with the help from medication and my family, I managed to finish in five years. Then I began working in a few different places. My last job before leaving Thailand for Australia was at the Chullabhorn Research Institute Library.

Doctors, hospitals and other supports

In Thailand, I was only able to see the psychiatrist every three months due to the high cost. When I was in the hospital, I had a chance to join a support group. The group members talked, and shared their own experiences about how they felt and coped with the mental illness. I just listened and learnt from them. The nurses also came in and helped the group to organise leisure activities e.g. making flowers, purses, and other craft activities.

When I arrived in Australia, my medication from Thailand ran out. I was referred to a psychiatrist here. He prescribed me some new medication (Risperdal) together with sleeping pills, which I needed. I found these helped.

A helpful thing was that I found a GP who can speak and counsel me in Thai. I can also talk to my psychiatrist. In addition, I have a supportive and understanding husband. He has a little knowledge about the mental illness, but when I felt low or had negative thinking, he tries to support me and give me good advice and care for me.

I often see my counsellor, who has helped me to build my self-esteem and confidence and to integrate into a multicultural society.

My teacher too has helped me to improve my English language skills. Before I could not understand or communicate with my husband or my friends in English. Tthat made me feel down and my mental illness became worse. Now I can communicate in English, which makes me feel more confident. I remember I usually used to ask for a Thai worker from Centrelink when I needed help before but now I am able to talk to any staff there in English. However, when I have to see the psychiatrist or specialist I still need assistance from the interpreter so that I don’t miss out on important information, especially medical terms.

I still like to go to the temple to practice meditation; it helps me to relax. I believe in Karma and try to do good things so I will have fewer problems in life.

Getting better

I noticed that when I am getting better, I can concentrate more and I like to talk to other people and feel happier. I like to study very much and at the moment I am doing a hospitality course and it will be finished this year. Next year, I will study English certificate 4 at the TAFE College.

I try to think positively and to get help from my GP, friends, family and monks when having problems. I like to do activities such as knitting, reading books, listening to CDs, or watching DVDs about life and happiness to understand why we were born and suffer. I also try to keep myself busy; not to let myself become down and keep my mind calm. I have learnt to accept my mental illness and adapt to life.

The hardest things

During the time when I was mentally ill, the hardest thing for me was I did not understand how serious the problem was, and how to recover. When I began to feel better I used to stop the medication so I went back to being mentally ill again. I relapsed two times. My GP and psychiatrist advised me that I should take the medication until I am fully recovered.

Other difficult things have been that sometimes I did not know how to differentiate real and unreal things or feeling down and lower than others or not equal to everyone. As a result I often isolated myself and made my situation worse.

There was a time I found sometimes it is hard and too much for me, as I was not fully recovered (just about 80%) but I had to take care of my husband when he was not well and had a problem with urinary system and also has a mild Alzheimer problem. Luckily now he still recognises me, he can take the bus to go the club or gets home by himself by getting a club bus. His urinary problem had been also resolved after the operation. That was much relief for my husband and me.

Thanks to

My Thai GP; my psychiatrist; my counsellor for prescribing medication for me and giving advice, counselling, and helping me build my self-esteem and confidence; and my husband for providing support, understanding and care for me. Finally I would like to thank my teachers at TAFE College for understanding me and helping me to develop English language and employment skills.

A piece of advice to others

Mental illness is the big issue, which we cannot see or touch. It can affect our body and our mind; sometimes we do not know what is real or unreal. Therefore, we need to talk to knowledgeable people about mental illness, we need to attend training or workshops in order to understand more about the sickness, and we need to have a good sleep because lack of sleep sometimes causes the problem.

Medication can be addicted; we should take the right amount and when we need it. My GP trusts me and prescribes medication for me. She believes that I always take a correct right amount of medicine so my condition is getting better now and I do not need to see my psychiatrist for the medication like before. I only see my psychiatrist every three months for a chat getting some advice about my mental health. I believe that my mental health is better than some other patients because now I can work and study as well.

"My final words are ‘Nowadays, mental illness does not mean you are crazy as people often believed. It is a sickness, which can be understood, helped and treated."

My cultural background

I grew up in Chile in a traditional family. My father was the breadwinner and my mother was a housewife and took care of us. I have a sister and two brothers.

My father worked very hard during his life. Before he retired he was a pilot; then after he retired, he was self-employed and owned and ran his own liquor shop.

The family idea of working hard was passed on to us. We all had good jobs, my sister is a hairdresser, one brother is an accountant and the other brother owns a hotel and is in the tourist business. Before coming to Australia, I was a primary school teacher. I also had a second job as a typist /secretary at a medical school. I did not have psychiatric illness at this time.

One day, when I was at work the premise was occupied by the military. The soldiers threatened us with guns. This life-threatening situation was like a psychological earthquake for me. The total freedom of speech in Chile was abolished by this military coup.

At that time Canada, Australia, Sweden and Spain were all offering humanitarian visas to Chileans. As a consequence, I decided to migrate to another country. I applied to all of these countries. Australia was the one of the countries that accepted my application and the Australian Embassy provided a special flight for us to leave the country.

It was 1974, and I was only 22 years old. As I migrated to Australia as a single girl I was placed into a special shelter, called the YWCA, which was provided by Australian Government for only seven single girls. The other Chileans who were married with family members went to stay at the Villawood migrant hostel.

Adapting to Australia

I have adapted well to Australian culture and the food. The Australian government provided us with job opportunities, and opportunities to learn the English language. After a while I met and married an Australian man whom I met through my friends.

At the beginning

My husband has neither creed nor religion. He is an atheist. I on the other hand am a Christian and I believe in God. One day, I wanted to ask him to go to church with me on Saturday. He got angry with me and asked me to go by myself. I suffered from homesickness. I always wanted to pray for my family in Chile. I cried sometimes because my husband did not understand me.

I always carried a Bible with me as comfort. Because my husband doesn’t have a religion, he did not like this. I used to carry a rosary and a Bible to bed, I cried sometimes and often I could not sleep.

He said: “You are always crying. You are sick. You need to see a psychiatrist.” It seemed to him that this illness does not make sense at all.

When my first child (my daughter) was seven I was pregnant again with a baby son. In the seventh month of pregnancy I miscarried and lost the baby. This really increased my homesickness and my husband did not support me at all.

One day, one of our friends came to visit us. My husband said to him: “She is so sick. We need to take her to see a doctor.” They both took me to see a doctor and I found myself in a psychiatric institution. The staff at the hospital told me that I was not allowed to practice my religion there. Then took off my rosary and removed my Bible. They were very nasty. They made me cry even more. At one time, I remember I was sent to a room with 12 other people. They all asked me different questions. I did not know where I was. I didn’t know what the questions meant.

None of my family members have any mental illness so I don’t know if I have inherited this illness. My family felt it was outrageous that I had a husband who took the decision to institutionalise me. They too have been through a lot of pain and suffering. They supported each other as family members.

While I was in hospital I was told that I suffered from depression. At other times I have also been told that I suffered from mania and that I suffered from schizophrenia and from thought distortion. Even today I am not certain which one of these was the correct diagnosis.

Being institutionalised made me experience more suffering. I felt that the doctors and nurses had the same reaction as my husband: they “did not listen to me”. The staff there did not encourage or suggest me using traditional remedies such as practicing prayer for me to get better. Instead they asked me to take more medication.

Dealing with it

This illness brought me to my marriage break up and I ended up divorced. After divorcing from my husband, I did not hear from him.

I also lost the custody of my daughter as a consequence of my illness. The law allowed me only to visit my daughter one hour for each Saturday. However, my ex- husband never complied with this order. I did not ever see my daughter as was detailed in the agreement. My former husband often wasted my time and let me wait on many cold days.

Doctors, hospitals and other supports

I did not have any support from my ex-husband at all. I was prescribed numerous medications with side effects having different symptoms.

The injections made me depressed and gave me an allergy and profound sleepiness. The doctor also ordered a community treatment order (CTO) so treatment was mandated for me. All of my life for a period seemed to be about dealing with doctors, nurses, tablets, and needles.

The hardest things

I found the hardest thing was when staff members did not understand me at all and they imposed a Community Treatment Order (CTO) treatment on me. Furthermore, medication side effects were the most difficult things to deal with. They created more problems for me. The sedation and mobility side effects affected my ability to study and work. The lack of employment and career opportunities for me as a result of my mental illness are the most difficult things that I have to deal with.

I feel the hospital staff did not understand the perspective of a woman about mental illness. They only understood that “they have to do a job” and that’s all. Furthermore, I still do not feel I’ve found any useful information about my condition. After being in the hospital I found the most useful and helpful thing was going to an Outreach Program of Living Skills. At the program I went for outings. The staff taught me cooking skills and referred me to TAFE course.

Getting better

One day after 20 years my daughter came and knocked on my door and said she was looking for her mum and was that me. I felt a lot of joy in meeting her again after 20 years. At that time she was pregnant. When I met her again I was very surprised. Since then we have continued to meet each other about once a month.

When daughter came to visit me, she often said: “Mum, you are normal," and that made me feel much better.

Before I went to Outreach services I was sent to a therapist for painting therapy to help me express myself. I would feel much better if my treating team did not misinterpret my intentions, or if somebody could have explained what “expressive words” meant to me. As a result of going to Outreach, I could prepare my own meals again and I started to write. I was encouraged to do exercise, to write poetry and music. I also participated in meetings and group work, and learnt from other people in the same situation as me, even though they might speak another language. I learnt how to live independently.

I feel better when I go to sleep and pray quietly.

To get better, I have had to find strength for myself by playing music, trying relaxation, going to bed early and consulting different doctors including private doctors.

To keep my mind busy I did some studies in social welfare and computer courses at TAFE. Luckily, I have not been readmitted and hospitalised. Now I only visited my doctor when I need to.

I found remembering all the good things in my past also helped me with my recovery. I always remember the good way my father brought me up and how close we were.

Thanks 

I would like to especially thank my GP who understands my situation. Also thanks to my friends who have helped me.

A piece of advice for others

Today stress management workshops and support groups exist for women and children to deal with loss and also to assist women to deal with marital separation. Having good nutrition, good sleep, and support can help a lot.

Learning a new culture and the English language requires help so that you can adapt to a multicultural society easily. You also need help with job opportunities. I also believe that grieving is a process of crying, and you need to show your emotions or to speak out about what you are thinking. If I had had my family closer to me, I may not have ended up in a mental institution.

My final words are, "Nowadays, mental illness does not mean you are crazy as people often believed. It is a sickness, which can be understood, helped and treated."

"Having hope about life is really important. My faith in God has helped me; I have strong feelings about this as I dreamed that God gave me strength."

About my culture

I was born in Turkey and I have three brothers and three sisters. My father and mother are Muslims so we all grew up practising the Muslim religion. My religious belief gave me a lot of strength. My sisters and I decided to follow the Islamic dress code in 1988 and I found more inner peace.

My two sisters are both married and my family now lives in Istanbul, the capital of Turkey. I got married in 1990. I was introduced to my husband by relatives because he wanted to marry a practicing Muslim girl. No body forced me to marry him. I choose him because he became a practicing Muslim.

When my husband left to go to Australia, I lived with my family without any problem, however my in-laws always created big problems because of my religious beliefs and my Islamic dress code.

I came to join my husband in 1999 bringing my sons with me. My sons were aged five and seven at the time.

Settling in Australia

For the first year in Australia our life was OK but after that I felt my husband started to change and there were always arguments. He became abusive and violent towards me and he was angry. It was like he wanted to live a single life again. He started to fight with my friends. I had started to make some friends from some different cultural backgrounds. I had one friend I used to see and my husband started a fight with her husband. Eventually I had to take out an Apprehended Violence Order (AVO) against him because he was fighting. When I remember how he used to behave towards me it is very painful and too difficult to talk about.

In 2003 I left him and I went to stay at a women’s refuge. In 2005 I left him again. I got separated in 2005 for the second time. He didn’t like to work because he was a lecturer in Turkey and in Australia he could only work as a process worker and found this difficult to accept. He was always spending time on the computer, not with the family.

My husband interprets Islam as he wishes and tries to use it to prevent me socialising with friends. When it suits him he tells me that it is OK to talk to a man out of my family but this changes according to his mood. He tells everyone including friends that the reason he kept me constrained to the home was because I was too liberated and I was doing things he did not approve of.

After my boys left in 2005 I couldn’t eat and I was vomiting.

At the beginning

I was feeling bad and felt like I had lost everything, I had no hope in life, and wanted to take my own life. I am also a diabetic. Having these symptoms, I decided to go to my family doctor as being a diabetic person I know I have to take care of myself or I can get sick. 

My family doctor referred me to the psychologist.

Dealing with it

I started to see the psychologist every two weeks and this started to help me feel better. After I left my husband, I lost several friends as my husband said bad things to them and my family about me. I approached a lawyer and she directed that I should have shared custody of my sons with my husband. I got support from the department (DOCS) and now I think my sons have a better understanding of the situation.

After I left him he said bad things about me to my family. I felt very lonely in this country as I worry very much and can’t really sleep. Sometimes even now when I remember what he did to me, I find it difficult. Once I was so stressed that I was bleeding from my nose. I remember the doctor telling me the bleeding was because of all the worry.

Most of the time I was managing my situation and being functional. In 2005 I became ill, mentally ill. I had found friends from different cultures but after I left my husband I had lost many friends.

Doctors, hospitals and other supports

I haven’t read much about depression but I think my husband keeping me isolated and my family being so far away didn’t help and sometimes when I feel down I couldn’t go out for days.

The hardest things

It is hard for my family in Turkey. They all worry about me. I wanted to bring my sister here. My sons were scared of their father, so they don’t talk much to me. My husband has a girlfriend and my husband buys expensive things for her.

For the last 13 months, I haven’t seen my GP. Nowadays I go to the mosque to a support group and also to a personal support program at one of the local employment centres. I pray at home three times a day as whenever I pray I feel better. Whenever I am sad I try to listen to religious songs or see a movie. I call my family and talk to them, sometimes when I feel down I still don’t go out for those days. I have a Kurdish psychologist whom I go and see for support. I have been seeing him for the last year.

Thanks

Having hope about life is really important. My faith in God has helped me, I have strong feelings about this as I dreamt that God gave me strength. In my dream I was poor and my grandfather came and held my hand, that was a strong experience.

I think Australian society has understood me well, the government has helped me with money and I’ve got more help from the Turkish mosque, Banardoes, and my Doctor who is a Turkish doctor. If I were in Turkey my life would not have been same.

A piece of advice to others

I like to advise other Turkish people to get the knowledge to make their life free from stress. You shouldn’t stay with the husband in a domestic violence situation just because he is 'your husband' .You should think about yourself and your children’s safety.

"Mental illness is not a life long sentence. It is not such a dreadful thing; it is often a period where you have some life difficulties for a time. These difficulties can be worked out and are treatable and people with mental illness can and do recover."

I would like to share with you some of my experiences of how I recovered from schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. How my family responded to my initial signs and symptoms was really important as this really affected what I thought about having mental illness and how this has affected my own life, and the lives of my children and my partner. I hope that I can give you some sense of what my own recovery journey has been like.

I’m doing this because I feel it is very important to send a message to other consumers and their families or carers that mental illness is not such a dreadful thing. It is treatable and people with mental illness can recover.

About me

I was born in China. My parents and I lived in a very supportive, cohesive and friendly community. It was on a campus of Yunnan University. Everyone knew each other. I had a lot of friends in my age group. We played together and went to school together. It was a lot of fun. We shared a lot of our joys and unhappiness together.

When I was 18 years old, I sat the Chinese equivalent of the HSC certificate exams. During the exams I had a nasty incident with another girl. I was very upset about it. When I went home I cried a lot for days. I did not eat proper meals. I didn’t sleep well.

Then I subsequently enrolled in a four year teaching degree course at a university. I studied very hard, and sometimes I went to bed very late. That’s really when my problems started. I isolated myself, I didn’t talk with my friends and my parents. They did not know what was wrong with me. I did not know either. The next thing that happened was that I was crying badly in one of my major exams. The doctor from my university said that I was having a nervous break-down and I needed psychiatric treatment. So I was sent to a community- based psychiatric hospital in the countryside. It was not restrictive and there I received acupuncture treatment three times a day, was given herbal medicine to drink twice a day as well as Western medication daily. I enjoyed the country life and with the effective treatment, I recovered very quickly and was able to be discharged after 4 weeks.

I came back to live with my parents, and my friends were very supportive. I recovered, regaining my strength and went back to the university eight months later. But again I relapsed during my studies. This time it was much worse for me than the fi rst time. I was crying badly for no reason all day. I heard voices and did things which the voices told me to do. This time I was sent to a very restricted psychiatric hospital and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. However this time I was given many electro-convulsive treatments (ECT) and had to take many different medications in there. My forehead was burnt and I could not bear the thought of having to have any more ECT. So I wrote to my father and asked for his help. Then my father advocated on my behalf with the president of the psychiatric hospital. The president subsequently intervened with my prescribed treatment and cancelled my ECT treatment. I started to get better and was discharged. I decided to go back to the uni for the third time.

This time the president of the psychiatric hospital became my private psychiatrist. I visited him regularly and he really monitored my medications. With his help and the medication I successfully finished my four-year teaching training course and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree. I then started teaching at a financial institute in Kunming as an assistant lecturer for four years.

Finding love and moving to Australia

Then I met my now ex-husband. He was an Australian-born English teacher at the university which I graduated from. We fell in love. I told him that I had a mental illness and I took him to my psychiatrist. They had a very long conversation and my psychiatrist told him everything.

After that my husband said he still loved me dearly so then we married. Soon after this I migrated to Australia with my new husband and we settled in the Liverpool area.

Living as a person with two cultures, both Chinese and Australian, was not easy. In the beginning I found it very hard, as my husband went to work and I stayed at home with no one to talk to. I felt very lonely and isolated. I knew I had to adapt somehow and so I enrolled in an English course at Liverpool TAFE.

Settling in

I went to TAFE regularly and started to meet and interact with other people. I started to feel much better.

My living conditions in Liverpool were good, as I could shop for Chinese groceries nearby at Cabramatta so I didn’t miss food that I enjoyed.

However I still thought there was something major missing, as I did not have any Chinese friends. I really missed the friends who I grew up with, that used to share the joys and sadness with me, and I could not speak Mandarin with anyone.

We were both isolated really as my husband also had no extended family support in Liverpool as he came from Queensland. His family and friends were all in Queensland. Although we were isolated we loved each other and things slowly started to look better and easier.

The ups and the downs

In Australia I again experienced mental health problems after I gave birth to my first child. I could not sleep at night for days and days. I heard voices and did some very strange things which the voices told me to do. I laughed and cried without any reason. My husband then contacted the community mental health team through the baby health clinic nurse. The case manager of the mental health team came and visited me at my home. As my symptoms got worse, the nurse arranged for me to go into hospital.

Having ongoing periods of mental illness has really affected my life a lot. The biggest impacts have been on the people most close to me and myself. Initially my husband was very supportive and helpful, but after 11 years of struggling to cope he left me. As a result, my marriage broke down and my husband divorced me. It really affected my family life, particularly my children. When they were young my children didn’t know what was wrong with me and I don’t think my illness was ever explained to them. What they knew was that mummy was sad most of the time, mummy needed to take pills, mummy needed to see doctors, and mummy was not a cheerful person.

I feel my marriage broke down because of my mental illness and the most difficult and challenging adjustment I had to make was living by myself. My children are now only allowed to come to stay with me every second weekend. I also think I lost some work opportunities as I was really interested in working as a child-care worker but it’s not an area of employment that has broad views about mental illness.

I think the mental health worker and my GP understand my situation very well and they helped me feel it it was all right to be honest and open with them. I told them how I felt, about some of my dreams and what I wanted to achieve. I guess having set myself some goals that I thought were important they all were able in their own way to support me.

Rebuilding

I think that my recovery journey truly began after I separated from my now ex-husband. I lived at a residential support service where I met a Chinese friend. He took me to a rehabilitation centre and I really can’t praise enough the help I received from the Psychiatric Rehabilitation Association. I eventually got a job as a part-time cleaner.

I got to know a consumer consultant. The consumer consultant introduced me to the idea of doing some training courses. These courses really enlarged my social circle and built the foundations of seeing I could start to have a career again.

I asked one of the occupational therapists to help me to enrol in a computer course at Liverpool TAFE. I really enjoyed these classes. After I had been discharged from Residential Service, my financial situation was not that good.

The occupational therapist helped me to set some goals – like finding employment. He visited me every week and we looked at the local newspapers together, checking every job vacancy. And one day I found a suitable job and he helped me to write the covering letter. My TAFE teacher also helped me to write my first resume.

Then I got called to go for an interview. I did very well at the interview and so I got a job at a hospital as a hospital assistant. I was very happy about this and I am now looking forward again.

Thoughts on recovery

I think the following are important things for people with mental illness to try:

Seek help actively

• Persevere and get your message across to the professionals you meet.
• Set your goals Listen to others and share your experiences with others.
• Actively participate in training courses or groups.
• Have some routines in your life.
• Make sure you give yourself a nice treat or something very little, e.g. a simple reward such as a nice cup of coffee, flowers, hiring a DVD.
• If any opportunities come along grab them, e.g. actively involve yourself with some organisations or try sitting on some committees.
• Listen to music.
• Exercise regularly.
• Give a supporting hand to others.
• Receive help when you need it.