Making an agreement after parents separate
An Easy Read guide about making a plan for your children after you separate from your partner.
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In this guide, we explain what parents must do to take care of their child after they separate.
What to do after you separate
Making decisions
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After parents separate, you need to make lots of decisions about how you will take care of your child together.
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This includes:
- where your child will live
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- where your child will go to school
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- what health care your child needs.
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You will also need to make decisions about how much time your child will spend with each of you.
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For example, your child might spend:
- the same amount of time with both of you
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- more time with one of you
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- all of their time with one of you.
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You will both need to agree on the best decisions for your child.
Making an agreement
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The important decisions you make together will be part of an agreement.
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This might also include an agreement about child support.
Child support is money a parent pays to the other parent to help take care of their child after they separate.
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You can apply to make your agreement legal.
But you don’t have to.
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When you make your agreement legal, it means:
- a court agrees to your decisions
- you must follow the agreement like a law.
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Find out more about how to apply for a legal agreement on the Legal Aid website.
If you can’t make an agreement together
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If you can’t make an agreement together, you can get support from a mediator.
A mediator is someone who helps people find a solution when they disagree.
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If you can’t make an agreement with a mediator, you can also go to court.
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We explain both of these options below.
Get support from a mediator
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You can get support from a mediator if you can’t make an agreement together.
You need to try and find a solution together with a mediator before you can go to court.
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You need to:
- meet with a mediator
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- write each other a letter.
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In the letter you both need to:
- explain what you disagree about
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- show that you are trying to make an agreement.
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Find out more about mediators on the Legal Aid website.
Go to court
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If you can’t make an agreement with a mediator, you need to go to court to apply for a parenting order.
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A parenting order is a set of rules from a judge about what parents need to do after they separate.
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When the judge makes a parenting order, they will think about what is best for the child.
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They will also think about what the child wants.
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You can get support from a lawyer if you have to go to court for a parenting order.
A lawyer is someone who knows and understands the law.
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Find more about applying for parenting orders on the Legal Aid website.
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Find more about how the court will make parenting orders on the Legal Aid website.
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You also might be able to go straight to court without seeing a mediator if:
- you or your child’s safety are at risk
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- you or your child’s other parent can’t meet with a mediator
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- your child’s other parent hasn’t followed a parenting order from the last 12 months.
An agreement for other family members
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A child must be able to spend time with their other family members.
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This includes:
- grandparents
- aunts and uncles
- cousins.
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If you are a grandparent or family member, you can also apply for a parenting order.
But you must try to make an agreement with the child’s parents first.
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Find out more about making an agreement as another family member on the Legal Aid website.
How to change your agreement or parenting order
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You can make changes to your agreement with your child’s other parent.
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Then you can apply to make the changes to your agreement legal.
But you don’t have to.
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There are 2 ways to make changes to your parenting order.
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1. You can go back to court to ask for new rules from a judge.
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2. You can make an agreement with your child’s other parent and use this instead of the parenting order.
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You will need to go to court if you want to make this new agreement legal.
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You should get advice from a lawyer before you make an agreement that you will use instead of your parenting order.
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Find out more about changing your agreement on the Legal Aid website.
What to do if someone doesn’t follow the agreement
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If one parent isn’t following the agreement, you both need to meet with a mediator.
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If one parent is finding it hard to follow the agreement, you may need to make a new agreement.
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You can get support from the court if:
- you have a parenting order
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- a mediator can’t help you.
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Find out more about what to do if someone doesn’t follow the agreement on the Legal Aid website.
Contact Legal Aid
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You can contact Legal Aid for:
- advice
- support to understand the law.
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You can call them.
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You can contact Legal Aid on their website.
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You can also call the Early Intervention Unit for advice.