Making an agreement after parents separate

In this guide, we explain what parents must do to take care of their child after they separate.

After parents separate, you need to make lots of decisions about how you will take care of your child together.

This includes: 
 

• where your child will live

• where your child will go to school

• what health care your child needs.

You will also need to make decisions about how much time your child will spend with each of you.

For example, your child might spend: 

• the same amount of time with both of you

• more time with one of you

• all of their time with one of you.

You will both need to agree on the best decisions for your child.

The important decisions you make together will be part of an agreement.

This might also include an agreement about child support. 

Child support is money a parent pays to the other parent to help take care of their child after they separate.

You can apply to make your agreement legal. 

But you don’t have to.

When you make your agreement legal, it means: 

• a court agrees to your decisions 
• you must follow the agreement like a law.

Find out more about how to apply for a legal agreement on the Legal Aid website.

If you can’t make an agreement together, you can get support from a mediator. 

A mediator is someone who helps people find a solution when they disagree.

If you can’t make an agreement with a mediator, you can also go to court.

We explain both of these options below.

You can get support from a mediator if you can’t make an agreement together.

You need to try and find a solution together with a mediator before you can go to court.

You need to: 

• meet with a mediator

• write each other a letter.

In the letter you both need to: 

• explain what you disagree about

• show that you are trying to make an agreement.

Find out more about mediators on the Legal Aid website.

If you can’t make an agreement with a mediator, you need to go to court to apply for a parenting order.

A parenting order is a set of rules from a judge about what parents need to do after they separate.

When the judge makes a parenting order, they will think about what is best for the child.

They will also think about what the child wants.

You can get support from a lawyer if you have to go to court for a parenting order. 

A lawyer is someone who knows and understands the law.

Find more about applying for parenting orders on the Legal Aid website.

Find more about how the court will make parenting orders on the Legal Aid website.

You also might be able to go straight to court without seeing a mediator if: 
 

• you or your child’s safety are at risk

• you or your child’s other parent can’t meet with a mediator

• your child’s other parent hasn’t followed a parenting order from the last 12 months.

A child must be able to spend time with their other family members.

This includes: 

• grandparents 
• aunts and uncles 
• cousins.

If you are a grandparent or family member, you can also apply for a parenting order. 

But you must try to make an agreement with the child’s parents first.

Find out more about making an agreement as another family member on the Legal Aid website.

You can make changes to your agreement with your child’s other parent.

Then you can apply to make the changes to your agreement legal. 

But you don’t have to.

There are 2 ways to make changes to your parenting order.

1. You can go back to court to ask for new rules from a judge.

2. You can make an agreement with your child’s other parent and use this instead of the parenting order.

You will need to go to court if you want to make this new agreement legal.

You should get advice from a lawyer before you make an agreement that you will use instead of your parenting order.

Find out more about changing your agreement on the Legal Aid website.

If one parent isn’t following the agreement, you both need to meet with a mediator.

If one parent is finding it hard to follow the agreement, you may need to make a new agreement.

You can get support from the court if: 

• you have a parenting order

• a mediator can’t help you.

Find out more about what to do if someone doesn’t follow the agreement on the Legal Aid website.

You can contact Legal Aid for: 

• advice 
• support to understand the law.

You can call them. 

1300 888 529

You can contact Legal Aid on their website.

You can also call the Early Intervention Unit for advice. 

1800 551 589